I’ve posted before about how amazing the results of my decluttering efforts have been (even at the very beginning stage). Those things are still true, but I’ve got something to show you. Just keep in mind, it doesn’t mean what you’ll think it means.
System Breakdown
This is the result of at least two things: system breakdown, and “I clearly haven’t gotten anywhere close to decluttering enough.”. Two days of going off-schedule and off-routine because my husband was off of work. That’s all it takes. Now, anyone who knows me would laugh if anyone described me as rigid, regimented, Type-A, etc. I am obviously (see photos) not. I’m starting to lean more that way lately when it comes to this- this need to adhere to the schedule. I notice that if I deviate from my routines at all, this is the result. I feel defeated, tired, and like all of my effort these past months was for nothing. When I take a step back, however, Logical Lindsay can remind me that even if things get crazy for a minute, it’s getting better and will continue to get better.
Here’s how I know things are better than before:
- When I look around at everything that is out, I can immediately identify where it needs to go. Before, a special kind of anxiety would surface that was saved just for the “what in the world am I going to do with all of this” feeling.
- Because I know that I have systems in place to help prevent this buildup from happening (to this level…trust me, my kids are always at work), it’s not AS stressful as it used to be when this happened daily.
- My routine of nightly tidying means that I know that tomorrow when I get up, it will be a fresh start. The annoyance of the mess today doesn’t have to carry over into tomorrow.
Here’s how I know things will continue to improve:
- I’d guess my family doesn’t need at least half of the items lying around. Now, if you’re a family member and you see something in a picture, this doesn’t mean I’m getting rid of these specific things. What I mean is, if we have six water glasses laying around the kitchen and dining area, but only two people using the “big people cups,” perhaps we could use a system where we know that we already have a glass out and which one is ours. Rocket science, I tell ya.
- I will continue to reduce the number of items I’m responsible for managing. People in our lives may have opinions on how much we should have on hand, whether it’s dishes or books or toys or clothes. Only we can decide what we are willing to take care of. If you have to spend time you don’t have to take care of things you only have because you would otherwise feel judged or guilty, then it costs too much. Get rid of it. How you do that is up to you and your ethics and opportunities, but it doesn’t need to be in your home any longer.
- As I try out systems within our family, I will make sure I am not the only one who knows and uses them. Yes, there will be some that are just me (like the cleaning I do after the kiddos are in bed), but many others should just become habits for the entire family. Clearing dishes after eating, shoes off at the door, leaving an area clean before you move on to the next activity, etc. These things are all “systems.” Once they become habits, they just happen without requiring thought, which creates capacity to learn new ones.
Emotional Ups and Downs of Decluttering
Please remember, I am very early in my journey to achieve some sort of easy-to-maintain state. I have noticed already that there is a cyclical pattern happening. It looks like this:
I got rid of a lot of excess stuff and I don’t miss any of it so far. I could hardly even tell you what I parted with. You may find, like me, that after you’ve adjusted to the new norm you’ll suddenly feel like you’ve gone backwards. Perhaps you bought new items. It’s also likely you’ll simply notice how many other things are more in the way than they are contributing anything.
Just a few weeks ago I donated a large number of items and felt such an immediate improvement. I now see toys that I chose to keep during the last purge, ignored and yet still in the way. Kitchen tools sit unused in my cupboards, taking up space that could be used to store other items. Since I last weeded out the too-small kids clothes, they’ve grown and I need to do it again.
Will the decluttering process ever end?
Once I’ve gone through this cycle enough times, here’s what I think will happen. Each time I sort through my things, I’ll remember that I wished I’d have gotten rid of more last time. I will be able to call up the feelings of relief that came before, to push me to do more this time. I’ll get to a place where I’m comfortable with the amount of items I’m responsible for on an ongoing basis. Keeping up with weeding out things that come in the home won’t be such a daunting task. Sorting through school papers/mail weekly, removing clothes that are outgrown quarterly, etc., are tasks well-suited to add to a calendar.
I wish I could just block out a week and go through the whole house at once. I think we all hope for the opportunity (aka time) to do it this way. I’ve never had that happen, however, and I’m guessing you haven’t either.
Let’s just keep going, little by little, until we get there. It’ll be worth it.