I’ll warn you- I didn’t write this post the way bloggers are supposed to write posts. I’m supposed to offer you help to fix one of your problems, and not focus too much on myself. Well, you know what? I’m not an expert, and I’m not pretending to be one. Today I just felt like writing about what I’ve been mulling over- finding balance with the things in my life. I do offer some hopeful “here’s what I’m trying out and I think it will work” suggestions. Really I just want you to know that if this is where you’re at in life, I’m here with you.
Mindset matters
Raise your hand if you struggle with balance. I’m sitting here waving my hand wildly. This isn’t what I had planned to write today. As I sat down to write, my thoughts swung immediately to my decluttering progress. I have more to say about where I’m struggling, and where I’m finally winning in that war. There are also plenty of pleas for help to solicit from anyone who knows the secret to getting it all done easily.
Then, I thought I “should” write more about self-care, or parenting, because I’ve not yet touched on those things here on the blog. This segmented, disjointed structure of my thoughts gave me pause. I recognized the way I have these things separated in my mind could affect my ability to ever find balance with them. In reality, each of these things go hand-in-hand.
Being “all-in” isn’t always the best for balance
I’ve had many conversations with people who do the same thing I do, so I know I’m not alone in this. Tell me if this sounds familiar: life is chaotic, and you’re overwhelmed, out of shape, and life just never feels fun or relaxing. You finally get sick enough of one of these things- like your weight. All fired up about finally hitting that goal, you overhaul your grocery list, meal plan like a madman, fit in trips to the gym or at-home workouts, and chug water all day. You spend a larger chunk of your time and energy on this, because your health is a big priority, right?
A few weeks (days? Months?) goes by and you’re sick of always thinking about what you’re eating or not eating. You also notice that your home just feels too stressful and cluttered and you determine you must finally tackle it. You shift all of that energy and focus to this new project, and go all-out sorting, purging, and organizing. Then you realize the kids are struggling with less structure and excess screen time you’ve allowed so you can work, and more guilt emerges. More convenience foods found their way back onto the grocery list to buy time.
‘Round and ‘round the cycle goes, making short bursts of progress that are often undone once focus shifts to a new area. Heavy doses of guilt abound, as you always feel like there is at least one area of your life in shambles.
Slow and steady wins the….quest for balance
I envy people who don’t struggle with this pattern, but also need to accept that this is mine. I am working on making a new pattern in which I can find a reasonable level of balance.
Shifting my mindset to allow slow-and-steady progress has already made me feel better. I think at this stage of my life where I have little ones, it’s the only realistic one. Small changes every day will, in the long run, make a bigger impact than a lot of big starts and stops. Seeing slow but steady progress will be more encouraging than seeing consistent failures every few months.
I’m not so delusional as to think that this means I’ll be giving equal amounts of focus to each area of my life. Some things deserve more energy than others, and some phases will come that will force attention one way or another. Having a routine and habits that keep things moving forward in all areas, however, will leave me in a better place.
Get it in writing
Let me tell you what I’m doing. I’m going to use a system I’ve already found some success with, which is loosely based off the FlyLady routine. Here’s an example of a checklist I created to start a routine about six months after the twins were born.
As you can see this is mostly related to cleaning the house. While there are many times I don’t get every single item every single day, it has helped some of these tasks become automatic. What I plan to do is use this same format but add in the highest priority items from each “category” I want to adjust. For me, that is parenting, homeschooling, self-care, and personal pursuits. For you, it could be writing, resting, reading, weight loss, furthering your career or education, etc. I really think this format can be used no matter the goal.
Once I make a final copy I’ll update you all, but for now these are the things I have identified to add in beyond the cleaning tasks. These are things I need to prioritize before I fit in any other extras.
- Read aloud to the kids
- Homeschool lessons
- Get outside with the kids
- Drink ½ body weight in ounces of water
- Have at least one high protein/high nutrition shake each day
- Daily dance party with the kids
- Spend at least 15 minutes writing
Surely I’ll find more balance in my life if I can touch on most/all of these every day. Again, my aim is to simply improve each area. Is there something you’d recommend I add into my daily routine that would bring more balance? What do you find most quickly throws you out of balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments or on Facebook/Instagram.